I am just sitting here sipping on my Sunday night glass of Pinot Noir as I mentally solve America’s election problems.

The more I drink, the more simple they become.

How in the Hell can Nevada have a counting problem? I have called the Google God Of Counting and asked about Nevada’s Snail Pace Counting Race.

He told me……(YES, I DID SAY HE…IF IT WAS NOT A HE, IT WAS A SHE WITH A REALLY DEEP VOICE. YOU WOKE FOOLS SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS BLOG WITH YOUR LITTLE COLOR-COORDINATED PURSE FULL OF PRONOUNS ANYWAY. GET AWAY FROM HERE!)

I am back now. I put that spoiled, young, woke FOOL in bed with a horse’s head. That Snowflake and its’ pronouns will be too afraid to bother us again.

As I was saying….He, The Google God of Counting, gave me some interesting data. He confirmed that….this Vote-cation of a week is ridiculous. The facts are:

A busy casino on the Las Vegas Strip makes THREE MILLION dollars a day. You can bet your Dancing Girl’s Feathered Headdress that every dollar is counted and verified by multiple cameras for twenty-four hours a day.  So a single casino videos and  and counts $125,000 dollars an hour.  Las Vegas don’t play! If they can video and count dollars, they can video and count votes. So, one casino could have counted and verified the Nevada votes in 8  little hours.

But Wait….the Las Vegas Strip has 30 famous casinos…so they could have counted all the Nevada votes in 26 minutes.

You could drop off the ballots, waste a little time, play a few slots and have a few drinks.  Depending on the potency of your drinks, you could possibly hear the ghostly echos of Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, or Dean Martin playing in the background.

And still have your voting results in 26 minutes.

Ain’t Life Grand!